The Phantom Lollipop Man Read online

  was GONE.

  Then all of a sudden the FIRE ALARM went off and we all covered our ears and

  and EVERYONE ELSE in the playground started screaming too, even though that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we have been trained to do when the fire alarm goes off.

  Maisie fainted INSTANTLY so me and Zach picked her up by an arm and leg each because that’s what we always do during a FIRE DRILL even though Miss Jones tells us exactly when it is going to happen and that there’s NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

  Once we were all lined up at the FIRE ASSEMBLY POINT and Mr Graves, the head teacher, had ticked all our names off the list to make sure no one was still inside, he told us through his MEGAPHONE that everyone was to STAY STILL and STAY IN LINE until the FIRE FIGHTERS got here because this was

  LOADS of people were panicking and crying because they’d left stuff in the classrooms that they were scared was going to get

  like their favourite pencil case or a book they’d been reading and Gary Petrie kept going on about his MONSTER MUNCH.

  And then it started to rain and EVERYONE began screaming again and Gary Petrie said that he felt NAKED because he was only wearing a shirt and not a jumper and the rain had made his shirt a bit SEE-THROUGH. And Mr Graves had to use his megaphone LOADS to try to calm everyone down.

  And THAT’S when I saw it.

  I couldn’t believe it!

  It was floating RIGHT ALONG THE BOTTOM CORRIDOR!

  Just then we heard SIRENS and the fire fighters all rushed in and did a FULL SEARCH. Then the main fire fighter came over and told Mr Graves that there was no one left inside the school and also that there was NO FIRE.

  Everyone started

  when the fire fighter said that and Gary Petrie punched the air and some of the Year 6 girls started hugging each other and crying.

  But me and Jodi and Zach and Maisie just all STARED at each other.

  Because we knew that fire alarms don’t just set themselves off.

  But then all of a sudden Zach gasped and said, “What if the

  went inside the school to get its LOLLIPOP STICK and set off the SMOKE ALARM?”

  And we all GASPED because we knew Zach was right!

  The next day, Zach told us that he’d found out MORE about ghosts from his mum and that she had burned his toast that morning and the smell had reminded him about the

  behind the old bike shed.

  So Zach said that he asked his mum if phantoms have a SMELL and she said that they DID and that when phantoms let you SMELL THEM it means that they are trying to

  Maisie GASPED and said, “The nebulous cloud thing smelled really weird!” and Zach nodded and said that it did and that sometimes the only way you know a ghost is around is because you smell a weird UNEXPLAINED SMELL.

  Then Zach said that the phantom was OBVIOUSLY trying to communicate with us and that he must need our help to do his UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

  And THAT’S when Maisie said that we needed to find out what the SMELL meant so that we could help him. But none of us had any idea what the smell meant because we didn’t know how to read smells.

  And that’s when Zach said, “You’re not going to like this. But I think we need Karly-with-a-K’s help.”

  Jodi was NOT happy when Zach asked Gary Petrie to ask Karly if she’d sit with us at lunch because Jodi was ONE HUNDRED PER CENT convinced that Karly was a PHANTOM FAKER.

  But Zach said that she might NOT be and that she might actually know how to communicate with phantoms and DECODE SMELLS.

  Just then someone cleared their throat really loudly, and we looked up and saw Karly was standing there with her tray. And so was Gary Petrie.

  Karly looked at Gary and Gary said, “Karly has agreed to have a lunch meeting with you to discuss how sorry you are.”And that’s when Jodi gave Zach a LOOK and Zach just sort of stared down at his chicken nuggets because he knew Jodi was

  that he had said she would APOLOGISE to Karly for saying she was making it all up.

  Karly smirked a bit and looked RIGHT at Jodi and I thought FOR SURE that Jodi was going to say something BAD to Karly. But she didn’t.

  She looked right back at Karly and said, “I’m sorry I called you an unreliable witness.”

  And I was

  Because Jodi NEVER apologises. Even when she is one hundred per cent WRONG! And I knew that she must have done it because she knew how important it was that we help the LOLLIPOP man.

  Karly smiled and said, “Thank you.” And then she sat down and started eating her salad and I knew that the WHOLE DINNER HALL was STARING at us because a Year 6 was eating lunch with a bunch of Year 4s.

  Then Gary Petrie sat down too (even though no one had asked him to) and I thought I was going to be SICK because he opened a bag of Monster Munch and starting dipping them in his soup.

  Then Karly said, “I hear you need my help to communicate with the other side?”

  And we all nodded that we did.

  Karly smiled and said, “I’m not surprised you asked for my help. I assume you’ve all heard of the Karly Method?”

  But none of us had so we didn’t say anything.

  Then Karly said, “I discovered it when I was just a baby and it’s probably the best way of communicating with the Ghost World that you can get.”

  I had NO IDEA what the KARLY METHOD was but then all of a sudden Karly started KNOCKING on the table with her right fist. Then her left. Then her right. And then she closed her eyes and put both hands on her shoulders and said, “Is anybody there?”

  I looked at Jodi and she rolled her eyes.

  Karly kept her eyes shut for ages and I wasn’t really sure what was supposed to be happening but then all of a sudden there was a loud knock on the table. I looked at Karly, but she still had her hands on her shoulders.

  Then Karly said, “Knock once for yes and twice for no. OK?”

  And we heard one knock. Zach’s eyes went WIDE and Maisie gripped my hand.

  Then Karly said, “Welcome, um…” And then she opened one eye and said, “What’s the name of your phantom again?”

  And Zach said, “LOLLIPOP man.”

  And Karly said, “Yes. I can feel that.”

  I didn’t really know what that meant but then Karly said, “Are you the phantom LOLLIPOP man?”

  And then we heard ONE KNOCK and we all knew that that meant YES.

  I looked around and saw that Jodi was STARING at Karly. And so was Zach and I was starting to feel a bit faint because this was SERIOUSLY SCARY and also because Maisie was now sitting on my knee and she was pressing against my chest.

  Then Karly said, “We’re here to help you. Would you like us to help you?”

  And we heard TWO KNOCKS, which meant NO.

  That’s when Karly opened her eyes and said, “Are you sure, Mr LOLLIPOP Man?”

  And the phantom LOLLIPOP man knocked TWICE which meant NO and we were all a bit confused.

  Then all of a sudden Mrs Kidd, the moany dinner monitor, came over and told us to stop BANGING on the table or ELSE. And then she bent down and asked Gary Petrie what he thought he was doing under the table.

  Jodi narrowed her eyes at Gary Petrie when he said he was looking for a Monster Munch that he’d dropped and I could tell she thought he’d been doing the knocking.

  When Mrs Kidd had gone, Karly said, “Your phantom obviously doesn’t want your help. Some of them are just like that. You should probably just leave him alone.”

  That’s when Maisie looked up at me and grabbed my face with both her hands. And I knew that there was NO WAY she was going to let us leave the phantom LOLLIPOP man alone!

  As soon as we finished lunch we ran to The Den.

  Zach wanted to try the Karly Method again and that’s when Jodi said Karly-with-a-K was definitely a fake and it had been Gary Petrie all along. And we knew she was right.

  And then Jodi said that we needed a NEW PLAN and that the NEW PLAN was to interview the

  so that we could find out what the phant
om LOLLIPOP man’s UNFINISHED BUSINESS was.

  So I said that we should interview STAFF ONLY because the LOLLIPOP man never really spoke to pupils. And everyone agreed and I quickly made a list of everyone that worked in the school and put THE OFFICE LADIES at the very top.

  But then Jodi picked up another pen and put a line through that because we’d already spoken to them (and also because she finds it hard not to TAKE OVER when other people are doing stuff).

  So I said that Jodi shouldn’t have done that because we had only asked the office ladies where the LOLLIPOP man WAS and not about his UNFINISHED BUSINESS. And Jodi didn’t say anything back because she knew that I was right and she was wrong.

  So we went looking for Mrs McManus, the Year 6 teacher, and we found her in her room eating sweets at her desk and when we asked her if we could speak to her about the LOLLIPOP man she looked a bit

  but she said yes.

  We asked Mrs McManus loads of questions like, “Do you know if the LOLLIPOP man was learning to play the drums?” and “Had he already booked his summer holiday?” and “Do you know if he was doing a 1000-piece jigsaw before he died??”

  Because we thought that those were the types of things the LOLLIPOP man might have started and not been able to finish and like Zach said, you’d probably be really annoyed if you’d almost finished a 1000-piece jigsaw and then you died.

  But Mrs McManus didn’t know the answer to ANY of the questions we asked her. And Zach said that he didn’t think Mrs McManus knew ANYTHING about the LOLLIPOP man. And that’s when I remembered that Miss Jones hadn’t even seemed to know WHO the LOLLIPOP man WAS and we all thought it was a bit sad because he’d been at our school for YEARS.

  So we knew we HAD to ask the OFFICE LADIES because they DID know the LOLLIPOP MAN and if anyone would know about his BUSINESS, it would be them.

  But the office ladies were all on their way to the staff room to have their lunch and even though we said, “EXCUSE ME” really loud, four times, they just kept on walking and ignored us. But Maisie said that we COULDN’T GIVE UP and then she grabbed my hand and started running after the office ladies.

  When we got to the staff room the door was closed, and even though we knocked REALLY LOUD no one answered. And we could hear MUSIC and

  coming from inside and then everyone started singing, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU!”

  We were all shocked because we didn’t know that the school did birthday parties in the staff room. And WE’D definitely never been invited to one!

  Then all of a sudden the door opened and Mr Killington came out and said, “OH! What are you four doing here? Is everything OK?” And we said that it was.

  But then all of a sudden Maisie

  But it wasn’t like it usually is when she faints because this one was really quick and she was still COMPLETELY AWAKE and saying, “I feel weak. I feel weak, weak, WEAK.”

  Mr Killington told us to help him lift Maisie and take her into the staff room and lie her down on one of the couches, so we did.

  Then Maisie said, “I forgot to eat breakfast. I need FOOD.”

  So Mr Killington rushed over to where the birthday cake was and cut Maisie a

  slice and THAT’S when Maisie looked up and

  We all

  because we knew that there was NOTHING WRONG with Maisie and that she was just FAKING IT.

  I had

  why Maisie had FAKE FAINTED because she’d never done that before.

  Zach asked her if it was because she wanted a bit of birthday cake and I thought that that might be right because Maisie

  and she’s always baking with her mum.

  But Maisie said that it WASN’T about the cake (even though she wouldn’t stop eating it and she didn’t offer anyone else a bit even though Zach was practically DROOLING). Maisie said that she did it so we could get inside the STAFF ROOM and ask the office ladies about the LOLLIPOP man.

  Jodi smiled and said,

  “Maisie Millar. You.

  Are. A.

  And Maisie smiled and kept on eating the cake.

  Then Mr Killington came back with juice for Maisie, and he’d brought more cake for us too!

  And we knew that it must be HIS birthday because he seemed to be able to make all the decisions about the cake. So we said happy birthday to him and he said thanks and told us we could stay for a bit until Maisie felt better.

  Then Miss Jones and loads of the other teachers came over to see if Maisie was OK and she did a weak little nod and made her eyes look heavy and I had to cover my mouth a bit so I didn’t laugh because it was really funny seeing Maisie pretend like that.

  Miss Ross asked if there was anything she could do to help Maisie and Maisie said, “Yes, actually. You could help us with our poster for the LOLLIPOP man’s funeral.”

  Miss Ross looked a bit

  when Maisie said that and we knew that it was because she was another person who didn’t know about the LOLLIPOP man MOVING ON.

  Miss Ross asked us if we were SURE the LOLLIPOP man had died and we said that we were and that the office ladies had told us.

  Miss Ross and some of the other teachers asked us about our funeral poster and Maisie told them that we needed to know more about the LOLLIPOP man’s life for the poster and then we asked them our questions.

  But NO ONE was able to tell us ANYTHING about the LOLLIPOP man’s life when he wasn’t lollipopping! It was WEIRD.

  So that’s when Jodi whispered, “Maybe we should ask where the LOLLIPOP man went in the school when he wasn’t lollipopping. So we can go there and try to COMMUNICATE with him about his unfinished business.”

  So I said, “Does anyone know where the LOLLIPOP man’s favourite place in the school was?”

  And all the teachers just sort of looked at each other but they didn’t say anything.

  Then Jodi said, “It’s for a POEM we’re doing.”

  And I gave Jodi a LOOK because we hadn’t said ANYTHING about a POEM and now I knew that we were going to have to do a poster AND a poem so that all the teachers wouldn’t find out that we were LYING to them.

  That’s when Mr Killington said, “I don’t actually remember seeing the LOLLIPOP man anywhere other than at the crossing outside the school.”

  And then the other teachers all nodded and said the same.

  So that’s when me and Jodi took a deep breath and went over to the office ladies who were sitting in the NICEST bit of the staff room, next to the heater.

  But they wouldn’t even LISTEN to our questions about what the LOLLIPOP man got up to when he wasn’t lollipopping OR where his favourite place in the school had been and they just started TUTTING and SHAKING THEIR HEADS at us and saying that it was

  that the teachers had allowed PUPILS into the staff room at break time and how the whole school was going DOWNHILL.

  I got a bit annoyed with the office ladies when they said that because even though we were only doing a FAKE poster for the LOLLIPOP man’s funeral, THEY didn’t know that, and it wasn’t very nice not to want to help someone do a FUNERAL POSTER. And before I realised what I was doing I said most of that to them OUT LOUD and when I’d finished I looked at Jodi and she looked the

  I didn’t know WHAT was going to happen because NO ONE ever stands up to the office ladies when they’re being mean, not even Mr Graves!

  I gulped and waited for someone to tell me that I was

  from the school for LIFE. But that’s not what happened.

  What happened was that all the office ladies stopped drinking their tea and eating their cake and just looked down at the ground for a bit.

  And then one of them said, “We’re sorry. We didn’t realise that you’d been allowed in here to raise money for funeral arrangements. Here you go.”

  And THAT’S when all the office ladies started to give us money and I had NO IDEA what to do but Jodi gave me a LOOK that meant “JUST SMILE AND TAKE THE MONEY SO YOU DON’T GET EXPELLED!”

  So we started collecting the money and s
aying thank you.

  And Jodi said, “Thank you for your kind donations. This will help us to buy a special PLAQUE in the LOLLIPOP man’s memory. We’d like to hang the plaque in the LOLLIPOP man’s favourite place in the school. Do any of you know where he liked to go when he wasn’t lollipopping?”

  I couldn’t BELIEVE Jodi was asking them more questions when I’d almost just been EXPELLED! And I ALSO couldn’t believe that she kept on ADDING to the list of all the stuff we had to make!

  The office ladies all looked at each other and then the main one said, “Um … we’re not sure. Maybe you could just put it up outside the school, next to the front entrance?”

  Jodi said that that was a

  and then she shook everyone’s hand and made me do the same.

  And when we were walking away Jodi whispered, “This is going to be more difficult than we thought. Even the OFFICE LADIES don’t know where the LOLLIPOP man used to go when he wasn’t out on the road!”

  So we went back over to where Maisie and Zach were and someone had given them MORE birthday cake.

  And THAT’S when I noticed that not EVERYONE who worked at our school was at the Staff Room Birthday Party. So I said, “Stop eating the cake!!”

  Because I knew that we were all going to have to have COMPLETELY EMPTY STOMACHS for the next part of the